Happy Memorial Day

In just a few short weeks my Dad will retire from a career in the Navy. During his years of service he has gone on more deployments than I can count anymore. Just a couple of weeks ago my brother-in-law returned from his first deployment. The people that I love have always come home. I am humbled as I take pause today to remember that this is not true for everyone.

I struggled as I thought about whether it is appropriate to say Happy Memorial Day. By its very nature this is a day to remember those we have lost. Losing a loved one is never a happy occasion. Sure, for most of us this is a happy day. It is a day to spend time with our family and friends, a much needed day off from the regular work week. Hamburgers. Hot dogs. Watermelon. Swimming. A happy day.

I found myself wondering whether today is a happy day for those who have lost loved ones in service to their country. Is it even a sad day for them? The truth is that they do not need a day to remember their lost loved ones. They remember each and every day. There are painful reminders everywhere. An empty bed, an empty chair, the silence of a missing laugh. A parent that wonders what their child might have been. A child that grows into the person that their parents always dreamed of, but without a father or mother to see that dream come true. But.. there are beautiful memories as well. Pictures of the lives they lived. Artwork that was saved from childhood days. Baseball trophies. Ballet shoes. Stories retold of the crazy things they did. Happy memories, sad reminders. They never forget.

The rest of us do. Our days and our lives continue on as they always have. We forget about the people who sacrificed their lives for our own. We forget about the families and friends that were left to patch up the hole left in their lives and continue bravely on. I think perhaps today is for us more than them.

This day reminds us that these men and women, they lived. And though we lost them too soon, we are happy that they lived. They aren't just little white crosses and American flags and pictures on a TV screen. They were lives. They dreamed dreams. They loved and were loved. They mattered. They paid the ultimate price, and they paid it for us. They have families that still miss them, families that still hurt. It is to those families that I write. Whoever you are, wherever you are. I know that you remember. Not just the sad, but the happy too. And today, we remember with you.