Clark Turns 5!

I woke up this morning to a five-year-old crawling into my bed. A five-year-old. How is that even possible?

I do not spend Clark's birthdays remembering what I was doing on this day X number of years ago, the way I do with Lance. Clark was born by C-Section on a Monday morning. I had been admitted to the hospital on Friday afternoon. His was a long, drawn out delivery process. All I think when I wake up is, "At this time X years ago it was almost finally over." What I remember when I think back on his birth was the moment I first saw his face. I was laying on the operating table and they brought him around, wrapped in a hospital blanket and wearing one of those little hospital beanies. My first thought when I saw him was, "He looks like me!" I was in awe. Josh is dark haired, with brown eyes and skin that tans when it sees the least bit of sunlight. I had fully expected my blue eyed, fair skinned recessive genes to get lost whenever we had children. But there was Clark, with big blue eyes and fair skin. He wasn't even crying, just looking around at his new world. He was absolutely beautiful. He still is.

 Clark has these big, beautiful blue eyes that I now know aren't like mine at all. His have this amazing depth of color almost like crystal and when he looks at you... My Mom got it right when she looked at him one day and said, "You are going to break hearts with those eyes of yours."

 Clark is my sweet-spirited, tender-hearted boy. He is so very kind. He is the kind of person who waves to strangers and makes friends at the playground and will talk to anyone. He speaks like a little adult and has no problem talking to you, if you take the time to listen. Being his mother has made me realize how rarely adults take the time to really listen to little ones. He has the biggest imagination of anyone I have ever met and spends most of his days pretending, usually being a super hero. I have to stay on my toes with him. He'll walk into the room and say, "Okay Wonder Woman, we've got a problem..." and that's my cue. He's Batman and we're the Justice League and we're off. He always includes me in his make believe, a fact that I remind myself is a privilege.

 To celebrate his birthday today some sweet friends were kind enough to let us come over and use their pool. Clark loves to swim. We spent the morning swimming and soaking up the last of the summer sun. While Lance napped this afternoon he and I played Wii. He has gotten into playing the games on the Sports Resort so we bowled and played frisbee and all kinds of games together. He's already starting to beat me, which doesn't bode well for me as he continues to grow. This evening he chose Chic-Fil-A for his birthday dinner and Dairy Queen for his birthday treat. The girls working at Dairy Queen even made him a special birthday blizzard and wished him a happy birthday - like I said, he makes friends wherever he goes.

In honor of his birthday I thought it would be fun to "interview" him and document the answers. Here's what he had to say about himself:

1. What is your favorite color? Blue.
2. What is your favorite animal? Lion and a gorilla.
3. What is your favorite food? Pizza and cereal and corn. (He also said broccoli but that's not even the slightest bit true so I edited).
4. What is your favorite book? Batman the Five. (This is what he calls the Five Minute Batman Stories that Katie got him for Christmas last year.)
5. What is your favorite movie? The Lion King.
6. What do you want to be when you grow up? A doctor.
7. Who is your favorite super hero? Batman (and he wanted me to ask who his favorite group was - Justice League.)
8. What is your favorite restaurant? Steak and Shake.
9. Where is your favorite place to go? The comic book store with Dad (something they just recently started doing together).
10. Who are your friends? Maggie and Ella and Lynzie and Lexie and Ms. Tammy and Mr. Mark.
11. What is your favorite Bible story? Daniel and the Lion's Den.

So there you have it. There really aren't words to describe the awesomeness that is my oldest son. I pray that this year will be an amazing one for him, that God will protect his tender heart. I can't wait to discover the world in new ways with him. After all, it's different when you're five.

Who Says You Can't Go Home?

For a long time now I have been interested in the idea of what makes a house a home. I think it comes from the fact that once my Dad joined the military we moved every few years. Even since my sister and I moved out my parents have moved more times than they did when we were in tow. The houses and apartments that we have lived in have been varied. But they have always felt like home.

I know a lot of people who lived in one home all of their lives, whose parents still live in those homes that they get to go home and visit. Whenever we watch Josh's home videos or talk about life when he was growing up it all revolves around a white two-story farmhouse, the same house his parents live in now. A house that has been a part of my own life and my own memories for twelve years now, a place that I love to be.

But there is no one house that is home for me. I remember home differently. When I think of our house in Goose Creek I think of Christmas. Our most magical Christmases were in that house, when the magic of Santa was still alive. When I think of our house in Chesapeake I think of the back yard. Katie and I spent hours out there climbing trees and building forts and jumping on the trampoline. When I think of our apartment in Okinawa I think of our family playing Nintendo 64 together - where we had to sit within a few feet of the TV so the cord could reach. I think of my Dad waking me up in the middle of the night because my hamster Sophie was out running through the house again. When I think of our house in Suffolk I remember Mom working out in the yard and Dad grilling out on the deck. I remember for the first time we had four cars in the driveway. My parents have had several houses in several states since that time that I never lived in, only visited. But to me that is the interesting part. It has always felt like coming home.

I guess to me home is not about the location anymore. For me home is my Dad eating popcorn and drinking Pepsi while he watches TV in the evenings. For me home is my Mom playing the piano. My favorites are when she plays for fun, not to rehearse for church. She'll pull out classical pieces or Broadway hits and the whole house will be full of it. For me home is Katie. I've thought about it time and time again, and it isn't Katie doing any particular thing. It's just wherever Katie is, because she has always been there with me and for me.


You have two homes when you grow up and start your own family. You have the new home that you build with your spouse and later your children. But you always have the home where your memories are anchored, where you grew up and became you. Josh and I work very hard to create a  home for one another and especially for our two boys. A place where we can rest, relax, laugh, love. A place where we can be ourselves. I think I can honestly say that at this point this house in Springfield has become our home.

 

I'm not sure when it happened, exactly. Was it when we got all of our things here? Was it when we finally got them unpacked? Was it experiencing sickness and hurt in this home? Was it having our family visit and getting to show it all to them? Was it having people over and sharing laughter and fellowship in these walls? I'm not sure. I think it all plays a part. Slowly, in the day in and day out, there is an unfolding of who we are into this place. The making of memories. The making of a home.

 

God's timing is always perfect. I have seen that particularly in the last few weeks. You see, while life has continued in a routine way out here in Illinois things have changed greatly back in North Carolina. My Mom and Dad, for what is hopefully the last time, packed up their home and moved from Camp Lejeune to their cabin in the woods, the retirement home that they have dreamed of. It's hard to comprehend from this far. My parents lived at Camp Lejeune for three and a half years - which is the longest they have lived in one place for quite some time. Katie and her family ended up being stationed there and we were blessed to live just a few hours away so we were able to visit them quite often. We made wonderful memories at Camp Lejeune, holidays and birthdays and promotions and just because we can be together memories. That is the only house my boys remember when they think of their time with Papa and Gammy. To realize that that chapter of our lives ended without our being there can be hard. To realize that they live in a place we have never been in a home we have never seen is hard. It was as I watched those roots being dug up that I realized that we had in fact planted roots here. Home here keeps me anchored while my other home changes.

 

 

I do not know when we will have the opportunity to go and see my parents' new house. I'm excited to see it, the beautiful reality of a dream they have chased for quite some time. I'm excited to see who they are in it as they settle into a new chapter of their life after retirement. I am grateful, though, that God has shown himself faithful to us yet again. He has shown me that we are home. And He has reminded me that even though it may look different than it did, even though we can't go back to what it was, home will still be there when we go to visit.